Keeping It All In Perspective….

It's been quite awhile since my last blog for lots of different reasons but mainly just lack of time. Because of that I have a backlog of things I wanted to write about so this entry is a bit lengthy. I hope somewhere in it you can take something you need and it helps you through your day, whether it's humor, a tip, or you're just killing time on your phone waiting in a check-out line.  Here's another little peak into my crazy life and mind. Enjoy.

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FROSTBITE HALF MARATHON

February started off with my first race of the season, the Frostbite Half Marathon.  Contrary to what I was told, this course is not flat. It was a perfect day though so I'll take a gorgeous day with hilly surprises anytime! While I knew I was suppose to just sit back and run this as a training race, I felt labored and tired throughout the run which definitely deflated my confidence a bit.  I had a lot of internal arguments with myself on this run and just felt like I was failing the entire time. I finished right on target, but I still wished I could have held a stronger pace with less effort.  At least I was joined by smiling faces at the finish line. :)  

DIRTBAGS TRAINING RUNS

 

The following weekend I was registered to run the Hot Chocolate 15K in Nashville, but after my race the previous weekend, and a lot of road miles, I decided to hit the trails with the Dirtbags for some fun on our Saturday long run.  I was so glad I did because I got to run my first loop of the red, white, and blue trails at Percy Warner Park (no, really, I have never done the RWB until this day) thanks to some more experienced new and old friends of mine.  It was an absolutely perfect day to run and I was in my happy place - as you can tell by the look on my face.  It's always so awesome to know no matter what day it is, or even the time of day, there are always run buddies to hook up with :)

CUPIDS UNDIE RUN!

Later that day I participated in the Cupid Undie Run with some other brave souls from my Fleet Feet posse.  Not my usual style, but I figured running in Southern summer weather doesn't leave much for the imagination either, so why not just get down to it and raise some money for children battling neurofibromatosis (or "NF").  NF causes tumors to grow all over the nervous system and can cause blindness, deafness, learning disabilities and severe chronic pain. If running a "mile-ish" race down lower Broadway can help raise money for these kiddos to fight this horrible disease sign me up!  If you would like to be a part of the awesome craziness next year - join for only $25 for a limited time. 

http://2016.cupids.org/?internalsource=register_button

DRY CREEK TRAIL HALF MARATHON

 This race was originally scheduled the week prior and had an impressive list of runners registered for it. Unfortunately due to the snow-pocalypse and deep freeze in Nashville that week the race was postponed to the following weekend.  This led to a few super speedies to not be able to make the new race date and in turn left me with my first moderate distance win.  While it wasn't a personal best for a half marathon for me, it was on wet, muddy trails in the rain so I will gladly take it.  Felt good to be able to take home something for my team. Also, gave me a little boost of confidence I had totally lost a few weeks before at Frostbite. Nashville Running Company put on a great race that day, even with the new date, and both the Fleet Feet and NRC racing teams represented well.  Great day spent with great people!

THE BIG "I" WORD...

As luck would have it, right after my sense of accomplishment from my win, I decided to push myself the day after a long run and attend an otherwise totally awesome bootcamp.  It was a perfect day, awesome company, felt a little stiff, but strong….and then I woke up the next morning and couldn't sit up or move my quad without a stabbing pain. I thought it was just a sign of a good workout, but secretly in my mind I knew the truth.  Regardless, I went about my training and logged about 25 miles between Monday and Wednesday.  After my "monkey run" (11.2 Percy Warner loop with hills I swear are trying to kill you), I asked my friend who happens to be an ER doc what the big ball of swollen tissue was by my hip flexor and quad area.  I also mentioned I was having some discomfort on the downhills - all the while knowing I have this ridiculous threshold for pain and if it was hurting me then something isn't right.  Well, that, and most people don't have grapefruits chilling under their skin on their quad… He immediately said it was a classic tear. Uh, okay..so what does that mean to a runner? Our next question is usually "I can still run on it though, right?". I mean I have had a bone sticking out of my foot the wrong direction and convinced myself it was just a little strain and I ran a half marathon on it.  Runners do not take too kindly to that injury word, and we will fight it to the death to not label ourselves with it.  I was even planning on running a race that coming Saturday that I had planned my family's entire spring break trip around. I refused to be injured. I just decided I was going to ease off of it and not run until that Saturday's race.  Seemed logical, until I woke up the next day and now had lumps of fluid all down my IT Band (outer thigh).  I decided it was time to call the sports doc. Found out I had a grade one tear in my upper quad and I was benched for 2 weeks.  Could have been much worse, but I've learned the hard way to shut it down whenever I feel an injury coming on.  Thanks to the awesomeness of Elite Sports Medicine I was able to start PT immediately and got put on a steroid to help with the blood pooling in my leg.  My husband braced himself for that though since I can't even handle cold medicine without feeling like I am on hardcore drugs.  Needless to say the next 5 days were a bit intense in our household as I went through my Prednisone.  

After my pity party I decided I was still going to go out and support my team at the Music City Trail Ultra even if I couldn't run it…and I was SO glad I did.

MUSIC CITY TRAIL ULTRA - A HARDWIN ADVENTURE 

     

This race was awesome on so many levels. The weather kind of didn't cooperate as it rained most of the day, but the vibe made of for it. Such positive happy faces all around. Not only did I get to hang with some of my favorite people, but I got to see my girl Becca crush the course and come in first female and third overall.  I also got to witness Cody easily shred the course record as he smiled crossing the finish line with legs to spare. Talent like theirs amazes me. If I can't possess it at least I can be around it. I actually had a great time not running that day, when usually it would have crushed my spirit.  Just speaks volumes of the people that I have been lucky enough to meet and support over the last several months. 

CHI-TOWN

(photo by my amazing friend Barry Butler Photography)

If you know me well, you know that I share time between Chicago and Nashville.  I am more rooted in Nashville because of my children and their schools, but my husband travels a lot back and forth.  We still have our same condo we lived in as a family in downtown Chicago in the River North area.  Everything is just as it was when we left, but at the same time nothing is as it was.  It's a very mixed bag of emotions that I deal with during each trip.  I suppose one day I'll write a blog solely dedicated to that decision and why we are split in two cities like this. It doesn't make sense to anyone that hasn't done something similar or had a spouse that travels a lot for work. It doesn't make sense but it works, and then again, sometimes it doesn't, but that's just life in general, isn't it?

I had big hopes of running the lakefront, joining some of my old run groups, meeting up with one of my dear running friends, Mick, an old coach, hanging at my amazing health club….but then I got injured. I spent the majority of the time in physical therapy, caring for my daughter who spiked a 103.4 fever our first day back, and managing the mundane household tasks that had been put on hold since I wasn't there. I had a lot of little pity parties for myself quite honestly..and I was on steroids. I'm sure I was amazing to be cooped up in a condo with.  

In the middle of the week I decided for the first time in my life to attend a bible study just to get out of the house and keep myself from going crazy.  Religion.  This is another entire blog post in and of itself. That's for another day though. Jest of it all is I don't know what I believe, or how to believe it.  I want to believe, I am actually jealous of people that have a sort of acceptance of blind faith, but that is not me. I am a black and white tangible person, but yet I am deeply spiritual. It's hard to figure out, but all I can say is I'm on a journey - but I would never in a million years have thought that journey would lead me to a bible study.  It just so happens that one of my dearest friends, Alli, pastors with her husband at a church in Chicago called City Church. They are an all inclusive, all welcoming place to just feel peace. I guess that's what I needed because all of the sudden I started appreciating the positives in my injured state. I was spending more time with my kids, when normally I would have put them in the gym daycare so I could workout or run the (amazing) indoor track, and I was just spending quiet time with myself.  Most of my busy work was still back in Nashville so to have the free time was driving me nuts at first but I started to take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty in the slowing down.  I enjoy being busy, don't get me wrong, but I loved the calm for a bit. Not sure if it was church, my friend's kindness, or just my own peace I had with my injury, but it felt good.

I ended up having to drop out of 4 races due to injury, including a flyaway back to Chicago for one of my favorite races of the year, the Shamrock Shuffle 8K.  Instead of my usual feelings of sadness and emptiness though I had a feeling of acceptance and patience.  I'm not saying I ever want to be injured but I am thankful for the peace I have learned over these past few weeks.

THERE'S A JUICE FOR THAT…I LOVE JUICE BAR

(My daughter is drinking The Doc (and a We Got The Beet juice)…basically the kitchen sink of veggie/fruit smoothies. Her other favorite foods are french fries, chicken tenders, and pizza (yes, she is mine, I'm sure of it) so this is amazing.)

Thanks to my love of running and healthy eating I was able to stumble upon, and subsequently become obsessed with, The Juice Bar.  I am quite a regular at the Brentwood location and over the past year and a half I have had the pleasure of meeting the owners Vui and John Hunt.  They are two of the nicest people ever which makes me love The Juice Bar even more.  Not only have I tried every smoothie and juice they offer, did their yummy 3-day cleanse, essential oil shots, had the vegan kale salads, greek yogurt and granola parfaits, soups, spring rolls, SIMPLY VENESSA PROTEIN BARS (oh my goodness so good), etc - but my kids love it all too!  If you can get my kids to willingly eat kale, spinach, beets, ginger, bee pollen... I'm yours for life.  With my love of The Juice Bar came an opportunity to be their first official ambassador.  I couldn't be happier to help spread the word about the amazing things they are doing.  Keep your eyes open because they are rapidly expanding and may be opening one close to you!  In the Nashville area you can check out the ones that are currently open in Brentwood, Berry Hill, and Franklin.

http://www.ilovejuicebar.com

I'M BAAAACK…..

Last week was my first official week back running.  I squeaked out about 50 miles, including a 20 miler.  It wasn't my 22 I had planned, and I missed out on another 20 in my training, but I am back and I am so thankful.  I attempted a 12 mile run Sunday to try to sneak my long run in for the week since it's suppose to be quite rainy, but my legs had other plans. I felt sluggish, tired, and weak so I called it. Sometimes it's okay to say you tried and go home - this applies to all areas of life. I used to be a crazy control freak about my miles and would beat myself up over failed runs, but there is just an air of acceptance in my life that I am kind of falling in love with.  I am still crazy hard on myself, but maybe just a little more forgiving too.  This doesn't just apply to my running though, it just more clearly shows itself with running.  This is a transition that is occurring in my every day life and I hope it continues.  As a woman particularly, I think acceptance of who you are is such a battle.  By nature we are competitive and are always comparing ourselves to each other - whether we are aware of it or not.  I am definitely guilty of it, and it's easy to get caught up in your short comings and lose sight of the things that make you unique - and therefore awesome.  I am happy I have people I perceive to be rocking this life thing better than me because it makes me strive for more, try a little harder, be better…which is all good, but I also have to keep it in check and realize people compare themselves to everyone else's highlight reel.  That's an exhausting, and unrealistic way to live.  Also, I not only have to worry about myself and how I perceive the world, but I have two little people looking up to the way I filter life and how I respond to it.  That's worth a deep breath and a step back in and of itself.

ON TO THE NEXT ONE…

The road race of all races…the iconic Boston Marathon. Just a short 13 days away.  I had planned a PR on this course this year, hoped to re-qualify for 2016 (even though I have my BQ time from Chicago this year I thought it would be cool to beat it at Boston), but with my quad still not 100%, and my legs feeling like they are in quicksand, I'm not expecting much more than to finish.  That bummed me out at first but then I thought "What the heck am I thinking?!! I am running Boston! I am a four time Boston qualified runner and I am running my third Boston! That's AWESOME!".  I may never be the fastest, but what I lack in speed I have in heart. I love everything about running..the grit, the pain, the joy of reaching a goal, the butterflies before the start of a race or even a big training run, the camaraderie of knowing if you run I will most likely have a good and real conversation with you, the knowledge I have gained from all of my training and injuries that I use to help people, the way my kids look at me when they see me race and listening to their prideful words when talking about me…. It's all because of that one step I took on that treadmill almost 6 years ago.  I am SO proud. I may run a 3:20, I may run a 4:20, but I am running.  I am blessed to have a body that allows me to put the miles I do on it, and a soul that won't stop when my body wants to.  Boston, here I come!

 (My son and I last year, Boston Marathon 2014, right before Heartbreak Hill.)

***Be kind to yourself…do something awesome…set and achieve a goal - because your life won't wait - LIVE IT!***

Acceptance #likeagirl

So you know how you always swear you aren't getting sick even when you get that very first tickle in the back of your throat or sneeze?  You try to will it away by just lying to yourself that you don't have symptoms - no, not you, you're going to escape unscathed this year…and then you wake up feeling like a truck hit you and finally admit defeat? Well as someone that has a hard time slowing down, admitting weakness of any kind (although I do work very hard at this) I definitely did not want to admit I was getting a bad cold this week.  I was starting to feel better from an earlier rib fracture and ramping my running miles up again - this could not be happening!  It was one of those crippling blows of slumped over, head hung, defeat…well crap, turns out I'm human.  Acceptance.

(..in my super fly Nike leggings I grabbed from Fleet Feet Nashville. They are even on sale now! 

…and the Nike "aeroloft" vest I doubt I'll take off until it's summer. Love.)

I ended up running a bit throughout the week and was finally able to meet up with the Brentwood Breakfast Club. Every Thursday they get together, do 5-7 miles, and then have breakfast together. That morning, coupled with my random dropping in for another group of Fleet Feet Nashville runners that tackle the 11.2 at Percy Warner (aka "The Monkey") every Wednesday, I realized that I had gained a rather large new group of amazing people in my life.  I've been in Nashville for about 2.5 years now, and sure I've got my core group of girls, my mommy friends, and the occasional server, barista, what have you, that I'm on a first name basis with, but this was an entire (quite large) group of like-minded people that had sort of taken me in.  I've always been a very outgoing adult, my kids even joke I can make friends with a wall, but there still always lies insecurity within all of us -  and for me, that is sparked ten fold with running.  I know I'm on the good side of okay, but I still know I can be better, so I tend to stick to myself when I'm training for fear of not being "enough" for the person I'm training with.  That fear, and the fact that I moved my family out here on a wing and a prayer and focused on making sure they had happy lives here first, I kind of put my life on the back-burner.  

That being said, I am so thankful for my four best friends here. I've never known a friendship in my life like the ones I have with those women, but none of them is as into running as I am (even if they try to be for me). My husband isn't really into running either, so I was left these past years to do all of my runs solo through gorgeous, but at times very isolating, paths both literally and metophorically. 

I am one person to the runners I have met over the last few months, but because of them I have gained a whole new level of completeness of my life here. I finally have my runner friends in Nashville and I have filled such a huge part of the fiber of who I am.  Acceptance.

(On the red trail at PW this weekend rocking my favorite running tights EVER (and that's a bold statement since I am pretty sure I have enough leggings and running tights to not need to wash a pair for probably a solid 3 months). Nike is doing some awesome new stuff. I ventured out to other labels for a few years but I am super impressed with their new designs and patterns. I had three runners stop on the trail and ask where I got them.  Another great buy from Fleet Feet Nashville!)

I think I may be feeling a bit better and plan to attempt the Dirtbags Thursday night run this week.  I have been off for about 4 days now and I'm most likely certifiable at this point. The above photo was taken as I was casually running DOWN the hill so I look pretty chill and relaxed…but I have yet to get used to the uphills around the park.  I've been thankful for my time to myself to work at this and make my faces and grunt in solitude, but the rumor is there will be no walking this Thursday so I'm thinking of investing in one of these and hooking myself up to the runner in front of me….

Brilliant, right? Ha! I know we will break off into groups, and paces will vary so no one truly needs to worry about not being a certain level to join the group (hint..hint..) but I like to play with the fasties until I just can't do it anymore.  You never know how great you can be until you try so hard you fail. That being said, we all need to work a little harder on not beating ourselves up when we fall short of a goal - myself included. The trying is part of the journey and every once and awhile you surprise yourself. Acceptance.

If you know me, you know music is a huge part of my life.  There is not one thing, even running, that can captivate me and change my total mind-state like music can. I want to include it in my blog and share some of my favorite songs with you that I'm either feeling a lot at the moment, or are my favorites that tie into what I'm writing about.  Most likely all of the songs have carried me through something at some point in my life.  This song is one of my favorites (was even my ring tone for two years!) by one of my favorite bands, Incubus. Truly nothing can feel as freeing to me as a great rock show. This song, Drive, was a mainstream hit for them, and I'm happy about that because I think we can all benefit from listening and living these lyrics. …"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms and open eyes"…  Acceptance.

http://youtu.be/fgT9zGkiLig?list=PLzL3lffmd-wOtcUOdBsKDHbYadwUIzY-9

This is just the beginning..

Sometimes life can seem like it's nothing but an uphill battle. I have experienced it, and in many ways, I  continue to. While we can't change what our journey may bring, we can change the way we view it.  I remember when I saw this hill during my race in San Francisco and put my head down thinking how hard it would be to overcome at such an already tough point at my race. But you know what happened? I worked hard, pushed negative speak out of my head and made it to the top.

The purpose of my blog will be fluffy and light hearted at times, but challenging and honest at others.  If there's one thing my friends will always say about me it's that I am a straight shooter. I don't make excuses and I don't pretend. If I'm mad, you know it, if I'm happy, you know it…if I'm struggling, I share it - all in the hopes that I can help someone along the way.  If you can take some advice and it makes your own struggle easier, I'm happy, or if you just need to know someone else has been in your shoes and you are not alone - I'm happy to be there to give that to you. I hope you'll follow me on my journey through this crazy thing we are all trying to find our way through, because your 

LIFE WON'T WAIT.